Pastry allegories aside. I really do love me a mean piece of pie.
That being said, I’m pretty good at serving myself different forms of “humble pie”. Yep, time and time again, I find myself being a beaten man by my own loathing remarks of self doubt. And I always wonder how others hold up with their own thoughts of themselves?
I’ve been doing it longer than I care to admit.
Another thing? Lemon meringue, peach, and apple are too scrumptious to not mention, who could resist a piece of brilliance with a fine oven baked crust surrounding it? Anyways, back to the subject at hand.
In all actuality, I’m grateful for this somewhat harsh and pitiful take on myself and life.
I’d hate to see a guy who’s quite the opposite of discontentment in character traits, because I’m sure I would be as a more prideful, selfish, and desiring a more glamorous life “kind of man”, then I am now.
That’s not to say I’m an awesome guy or anything like that. I’m just glad God put this spirit of “self gratification” awareness in me…and know a jerk when I see one.
Because I’m very much sure that some other spirit (that does just the opposite of that) would find it’s way to weasel into my heart.
Then comes the the compounding layers of an identity that is wrought with the desire to be the misleading character of my own heart.
I can do without the untruthfulness of that disgusting belief.
The more I push away from the knowledge that my weak and fragile human heart is paying already for the sins of my father and my own life, I grow to the understanding that Jesus has much more for me to do.
And I’m sure in the end of things, when I get to see the scarred hands of the Son of God, I can be sure to honestly say;
“I did all that I could, with all these days not promised with my life, with You by my side.”
And you know what He will do…?
Reach out to me and grasp a hold of my face, with the words clearly etched upon his eyes of love and mercy.
And that beautiful Creator, who I believe knows every little shameful and stupid thing I’ve done, yet still believes in me, He’ll say;
“You’ve done all that I believed you could, you have spent my love on ways that have won. And for that I have brought you here to be with me, to not be filled with doubt of your existence, and to see who I truly am. For I know the sin and the hardships of you..and I love you…Now let’s go party.”
((Something pretty close to that.))
That piece of everlasting and merciful justice, will ring in my ears, until I can no longer stand.
Then he’ll catch me, and wrap those carpenter arms around me…till my existence is reached beyond any recognition.
For that slice of truth and beauty, I’ll commit anything to my heart.
For we all know pie is much better than cake.
+
Karen
June 9, 2010
the picture of him grabbing our faces and telling us… yes. I’ve had that picture a couple times. it’s powerful. like a big warrior taking hold of something that is rightfully His, but with compassion and tenderness so great that we’d faint at if we truly understood.
can you please write a book someday? kthx.